Funny stories 2

1. Money And Friends

“Since he lost his money, half his friends don’t know him any more”

“And the other half ?”

“They don’t know yet that has lost it”

2. Father Wants To Go To Bed

Next-door Neighbor’s Little Boy : “Father say could you lend him your cassette player for tonight ?”

Heavy – Metal Enthusiast : “Have you a party on ?”

Little Boy : “Oh, no. Father only wants to go to bed “.

3. The River Isn’t Deep

A stranger on horse back came to a river with which he was unfamiliar. The traveller asked a youngster if it was deep.

“No”, replied the boy, and the rider started to cross, but soon found that he and his horse had to swim for their lives.

When the traveller reached the other side he turned and shouted : “I thought you said it wasn’t deep ?”

“It isn’t”, was the boy’s reply : “it only takes grandfather’s ducks up to their middles !”

4. My Daughter’s Music Lessons

“My daughter’s music lessons are a fortune to me ?”

“How is that ?”

“They enabled me to buy the neighbors’ houses at half price”.

5. A Policeman And A Reporter

Country Policeman (at the scene of murder) : “You can’t come in here”

Reporter : “But I’ve been sent to do the murder”

Country Policeman : “Well, you’re too late; the murder’s been done”.

6. A Cow Grazing

Artist : “That, sir, is a cow grazing”

Visitor : “Where is the grass ?”

Artist : “The cow has eaten it”

Visitor : “But where is the cow ?”

Artist : “You don’t suppose she’d be fool enough to stay there after she’d eaten all the grass, do you ?”

7. Let’s Work Together

“Can you tell me how to get to the post office ?”

“That’s just where I want to go. Let’s work together. You go south, and I’ll go north, and we’ll report progress every time we meet”

8. The French People Have Difficulty

“Did you have any difficulty with your French in Paris ?”

“No, but the French people did”

9. Great Mystery

Newsboy: “Great mystery! Fifty victims! Paper, mister ?”

Passerby : “Here boy, I’ll take one” (After reading a moment) “Say, boy, there’s nothing of the kind in this paper. Where is it ?”

Newsboy : “That’s the mystery, sir. You’re the fifty first victim”.